What is what to do when he stops putting in effort?

It's tough when you feel like your partner is pulling back. Here's some guidance on what to do when he stops putting in effort:

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's valid to feel hurt, frustrated, or confused. Don't dismiss your emotions. Acknowledge them and allow yourself time to process them.

• Communicate Openly and Honestly: This is the most crucial step. Schedule a time to talk when you can both be calm and focused. Use "I" statements to express your feelings without blaming. For example, say "I feel neglected when we don't spend quality time together" instead of "You never make time for me anymore." Discuss your expectations and needs in the relationship. Consider using an approach such as creating a healthy relationship contract.

• Assess the Situation: Is this a temporary slump due to stress, work, or personal issues? Or is it a pattern of behavior? Understanding the underlying cause can help you approach the situation more effectively.

• Avoid Nagging or Accusations: While it's important to communicate your feelings, avoid constant complaining or blaming. This can push him further away. Focus on solutions and working together.

• Give Him Space (Within Reason): Sometimes, people need space to process their feelings or deal with personal challenges. Giving him some breathing room might allow him to reassess and come back with renewed effort. However, this shouldn't be an excuse for prolonged neglect.

• Focus on Yourself: Invest in your own well-being. Spend time with friends, pursue your hobbies, and prioritize self-care. This will help you maintain your self-esteem and prevent you from becoming overly dependent on the relationship for your happiness.

• Re-evaluate Your Needs: Are your needs being met in the relationship? Have your needs changed over time? Are you being realistic with your expectations?

• Consider Couples Therapy: If communication is difficult or you're struggling to resolve the issue on your own, couples therapy can provide a safe space to explore your concerns and develop healthier communication patterns.

• Be Prepared to Walk Away: If, despite your best efforts, he continues to withdraw and refuses to address the issues, you may need to consider whether the relationship is sustainable. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is to recognize that you deserve better and move on. Consider consulting a divorce coach if separation seems inevitable.

• Understand His Love Language: Sometimes, effort isn't recognized because it's not given or received in a language understood by both partners. Is he showing effort in his love language?